I think we all get to those points in our lives where everything around us is more than we can handle. We don’t understand why or how things will move forward and everything around us is confusing and dark. There are also those points in time where we ARE moving forward, everything around us is changing, our entire makeup and expectations are being molded into something very different than what we had previously thought possible.
I have been in that place recently… It seems that the past fourteen months have been a continuous whirl-wind of everything about me, inside and out, changing into something very different than what I had previously expected. God has been growing me so much in various areas, changing the way I think and feel, and through the transition there were times of bliss and excitement, but also times of deep pain and confusion.
This morning as I sat on my porch sipping my herbal tea, feeling the wind caress my hair and cheeks, I closed my eyes and was still before God.
“When my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2)
These words flooded through my mind, giving me a sense of hope and peace. This has been an overwhelming week of reflection, letting go and personal commitment. SO much has happened in the past year that has brought a change in me that will be there for the rest of my life. I realize that in this past year God has changed me so much. He has opened my eyes to a new depth in my relationship in Him, what it means to focus on myself and who I am in and through Him, realizing my convictions and beliefs are to be my own and not based on anyone or anything else, and my responsibility and accountability with the Lord as an individual and not going through the thoughts and expectations of my family or church.
I guess in a sense, I finally got to the point where I was ready to “grow up.”
I am a woman of God… not perfect by any means… but loved and cherished by her Creator. I am a woman that has been tenderly brought through trials and testings to make her recognize that she is being specially molded by the Master Potter’s hands. I am a woman that has tendencies of failing and falling, but is lifted up again by the loving arms of the Caring Shepherd. I am a woman that can be beaten down by doubts, fears and worries but is comforted by her Heavenly Father. I am a woman that cries during times of pain, either physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally, but has her tears wiped away by the sacrificial hands of the Comforter.
When my heart is overwhelmed, He is there… and I can praise Him… I DO praise Him!
I praise the Lord for all He has done and is doing in my life. I praise Him… yes, even thank Him… for those dark and hard moments, because I know that it is through ALL of the times, good and bad, that He is working and growing me to become more of the woman of God He wants me to be.