I got saved when I was about eight years old. Being a pastor’s daughter I “knew” all the answers and everything concerning salvation. I knew I was a sinner, destined for hell, and it was through Christ alone I could obtain my salvation. At the same time though, I thought I had plenty of time to get things right with the Lord. God used a play put on by a local church to show me that death was sure and my time here on earth wasn’t, so that night I decided not to delay any longer. I went to my parents, and accepted Christ that night. For many people, salvation is a start to an amazing journey, but for me, it was the start of a VERY long and challenging road filled with ups and downs.
I was raised in a very conservative Christian home, and while I may have looked okay on the outside, in my heart I was a million miles away. In the next several years I battled the flesh so much I used to wonder if I had even truly been saved back when I was eight, but after much prayer, I know that I was. I just wasn’t willing to fully die to the flesh and live a life surrendered to Christ and in full obedience to His word. At that point in time, I don’t know that I truly knew HOW!
Out of all my parent’s twelve children, I was probably the one most known as the rebel. Even though I was smart and bouncy, I was very dark behind the eyes, and even my best friend now can hardly recognize me from my pictures back at that point in time. And I’ve actually been told twice in the past couple weeks that years ago people were SURE I was the one of the family that was going to rebel and go out on my own into the world. It is purely by the grace and mercy of God I didn’t! When I was actually old enough to go out on my own and do what I wanted to, the Lord allowed me to go through several injuries and some semi-severe health issues that kept me, not only home, but hardly ever going out for about six years. By that point in time, the Lord was REALLY starting to grow me and work on my heart.
The past six years have been the sweetest, most difficult years of my life. But in those years God changed me from a furiously angry, never-want-to-grow-up child on the inside, to the woman I am today. PURELY by the grace and goodness of my precious Lord!
I am so humbled and so blessed by how the Lord has been working in my life especially this past year and most especially the past couple weeks. Living a life surrendered to Christ is NOT easy, and has it’s up and down times, but it is the sweetest, most humbling experience I can ever know. Praise God for His abundant love and mercy He richly gave me. That precious love and grace that I desperately needed, but never deserved! I am nothing without Christ, and can never be anything apart from Him, and I am SO thankful for His life-changing presence in my life!